Mean People SUCK (Week 11)

This is the lesson I taught the kids this week. Ugh. In reality I'd rather teach them, and I will and have, that we can always try to find the grain of goodness behind someones actions, and if there isn't one, get the hell away from them. But for now, in our recent situations, I've stuck with this bumper-sticker mantra. Mean People Suck.

I'm out of the house once, and Hannah needs to talk to me, so Kit shows her how to use the phone to call me. A logical thing, he knows she needs to learn this, so let's start learning. She dials the wrong number. She says 'oh I'm sorry I'm trying to get my mom'. "You're too young to be on the phone get off the phone!" harps an older woman. She finally reaches me and is in tears.

All the kids are out front playing. I'm not. They're playing street hockey, their usual thing. They know all about cars, they know about the hidden turn at the end of our street, how you need to listen for the car before you'll see it. A car they do not 'know' from the neigbourhood drives up, honks at them, and this older woman (see how nice I'm being?) yells at Leif to get inside, where is your mother, you shouldn't be on the street! In tears, my dear son APOLOGISES to her, saying he's sorry he upset her, he's doing his best to keep his sisters safe while they play. She honks and yells some more, and drives away. Leif is in tears for a long time, as I try in (in vain) to make things better. I said "what kind of person yells at little kids?". We re-visited a topic that we've touched on before, that just as many people aim to spread happiness, others aim to spread poison. They just barf their venomous thoughts all over you, and you are so stunned by their anger and rudeness you have no idea what to say. This has happened to me so often since I became a parent, and I still have no ability to deal with it. As much as I know that person is not going to 'hear' me, is not going to be open to my explanation, I still hope to be able to calmly chat with them, and not just stare dumbstruck as they lay into me.

I explained that we are like fish that are swimming upstream. That our culture promotes everyone swimming the same way: girls do this, boys do this, families do this. And when you do not swim that way, you need to work harder to keep your direction, to remember why you do what you do, and have that beacon ahead of you, guiding you through the masses.

I don't know if any of it helped. I'm not going to bring it up again, these two incidents, because I know it will just remind them of that crappy feeling. I can still recall two times when two (different) men reamed into me, and I have to distract my mind so I don't get upset and frustrated yet again. There's nothing to be done about it now. For now the lesson is simply that sadly enough, there are mean jerks out there. You need to seek out nice people, and remember that includes yourself, that you are nice and good, no matter what other losers say.

Fuck. What a lesson.


H'okay, onto to brightness, finding the light and joy.

Hannah is so very excited, want to know why?

She's on a soccer team, just like her brother. Her regular soccer classes ended last week, and she had been expressing her frustration with them, because it's always new kids each term, that they come to class knowing nothing about soccer. And so they do not know about passing, and proper play, and it frustrates her to wait for them to learn (which never happens in just one term). So I asked Steph about her joining Leif's club mid-way through the year. Sure, they'll sneak her in, she's good. And this discussion happened the weekend of team photos. So I found out her new team, took Leif's uniform off him after his photos and made it all fit Hannah. We found her team, took the pic, and got the practice schedule. Her coaches are very nice, and hopefully she'll connect with her teammates over the weeks of practices. She is so excited, did mention that? Photos to come soon.

Leif has cause for excitement as well this week, in an odd sort of way.



His first sports-related injury, woohooooo! He took a hockey stick to the face, to the tender yet hard cheekbone no less. His dear friend Taro feels awful, but both think it's pretty dang rad.


This week had the usual skating lessons and aikido, both of which the kids love, and they are really catching on. Skating is hilarious to watch, as Leif tries to be fastest, but cannot stop at all, while ever-cautious Taro comes along behind him, slow and steady, and Hannah does her best to catch up, which means falling down more than anyone. There are no tears of frustration, well, except mine because I cannot get their damned skates laced tight enough.

It has been raining for days now. If I were a believer I'd be building my ark. Instead here's a lot of indoor activity, some more suited to the inside life (World of Goo and Monopoly) some not so much (hockey and dodgeball come to mind). Hannah is 3/4 through the 3rd Harry Potter and Leif is plugging away at number 5. It is a tough read; so much Quidditch talk and it is bigger than the other books.

Among our many indoor ventures, we've had "the celebration of the coming winter with our Mandarin tea with animals" installation.



Also much role-playing has been had, with all 3 kids re-enacting the "Freeing Of Dobby" scene with Ivy as Dobby, Leif as Lucius Malfoy and Hannah as Harry Potter. Ivy calls her Mister Potter and runs from Leif shreiking "No Lucius Malfoy you're a bad guy!". It's theatre at it's bet.

Hannah and Ivy played "Overly prepared Robber on Horseback with faithful steed", as seen below.



As any good cowpoke knows, after a hard day of riding what goes down best is a nice smooth glass of water. But first, you hitch your horse up outside the saloon.



Then it was Ivy's turn as the robber. But there was no willing horse to be found.



We're slowly adding the music from Charlie Brown's Christmas to our piano playing. We're just tinkering, but it's coming along. I've found a place to buy the sheet music, so I may get into that and they'll see it and follow or not. You never know what activities will spark their interest.

Ivy's forever asking me where the Sun has gone at night and then supplying the answer herself (Japan).

All of us are struggling with a cream-cheese-on-crackers-with-red-pepper-jelly addiction. Man is it good!

I leave with Hannah's latest creation, she calls it "you know, those Chinese dogs?" I think she means a Fu dog. So this is "Fu Dog of block crayons". Only the gifted can see the dog.





C

It's not easy being green . . . (Week 10)

Kermit the Frog has it right. I've been struggling with some earthly issues lately that are taxing my brain, more than I think they should. We recently dug up and demolished our huge 2-bin compost system. It was not in a good spot (we'd already moved it once) and we had rats, again. Now every time I have to throw out an orange peel or eggshell I feel crappy for such waste. We make so much garbage! And we're a recycling and buy-less-packaging house to begin with. We buy bulk dish, laundry and hand soap, we by recycled TP, we don't use paper towels or napkins, we use cloth diapers, we recycle foam and other hard to recycle stuff. So to toss perfectly compostable food just hurts my brain every time. So I've been looking into smaller composters, worm bins, you name it. Plus, I'd like to get a cat this year, and I had no idea pets were so harsh on the planet. Or at least that there is a green way to have pets and a not-at-all green way. And the green way is going to take a lot more work. I want to get all my ducks in a row before I take in any more work. I've got a full enough plate as it is.

So one thing I looked into in this vein was having our own chickens. I know, I know. So much work and more poop! But I know a few folks who have them and there's truly, truly no smell, and it seems like it's not a huge workload to maintain it. They can eat the food scraps and sabe us money on eggs. But as I said, there's still more to learn. And where I'd put the chickens is where we could put a hockey/basketball court instead.

So we visited a neighbourhood coop:




I'll keep you posted.

Leif is great, we know that. He's working on a hockey list for who he thinks may be on Team Canada at the Olympics. He's rocking out at soccer, aikido, street hockey, Harry Potter.

But this week is about Hannah, people. She's on fire.

Hannah has pulled out our solar system model set. The planets come off their rods so we had them all mixed up. I got out a book that gives the symbols of the planets so she could figure out who goes where (we know the order but the planets have only the old symbol on the bottom, so I chose not to tell her the obvious (mars is red) and let her figure this out herself first). She nailed them all, of course.






She's been plunking away at the piano, figuring out another song from Harry Potter. I'd written the first song they learned on a sheet for them, just using the alphabet letters, not the notes format. CD#A# etc . . Then later on I saw that she had added to that sheet of paper:

"Mary Had A Little Lamb (or Twinkle Twinkle or ABC song)

BAGABBBAAABBBBAGABBB"

How awesome is that? I've put up a picture of where the notes actually fall on a sheet of music, and printed out blank music sheets, so we'll see if that ties in sometime. But otherwise, they're both learning how I did as a child, just by plunking away and memorising where your fingers go. I prefer this method to learning to read music, it's just like the rules to the english language, you can learn the language through immersion without the rules.



Hannah also pulled out this cool thing we have, it's a wooden cube magnetic mosaic thing. You can copy pictures they give you or make your own. Hard work, as you can see:



We've been more this week about giving, and about understanding what can bring us true joy and happiness, and what is just successful marketing. With Christmas approaching I'm looking around at all that they/we have, and that we have more than we need, and there's no room for the few gifts they're going to get anyway! I do not want to be a heavy blanket on their holiday joy by forcing them to donate their gift money t orphanages in Cambodia or anything like that. I do not think that forced giving is giving, and I do not think it teaches kids anything. But I DO want to ingrain in them what is truly great about Christmas and the fall/winter seasons overall. That it is the dark time of year and so we bring light into our lives by being with friends who makes us smile, connecting with family, eating tasty food and doing fun things together that we remember with fondness from years past. That if we focus solely on finding 'joy' in opening our gifts on Xmas morning, we will only end up with sadness when that short moment is over. But if we look forward to tobogganing at Beacon Hill, and family card games, and Christmas baking, and leaning carols, and stockings, and seeing all the lights . . . then we stretch out that festive feeling and find joy in every day.

This discussion was preceded with Hannah's request for another huge lego set, even more expensive than the one she wanted for her birthday. So it's time get this message out. :) Meanwhile I'm going through all of our stuff, again ,to see what can be passed on to create more space. It's amazing what we have to give away. After our chat I impishly hinted that I'm making their gifts again this year, and refuse to give them any hints. This lead Hannah to deciding to make something for Ivy, and give it to her right away. So I cut the felt pieces for her and she found a private space to get to work. We told Ivy she had to stay away for now.



And in less than an hour she'd finished this ball:



Ivy loved it!


I came across these quickie math sheets we printed for them. They got every question right, and we dropped the activity. I love seeing the difference simple maturity makes on a child's abilities. This is Hannah's sheet, full of backwards numbers.




And this is Leif's, everything in order.



But when he was 5/6, Leif wrote and spelled just like Hannah. And in the time since, we've never sat down and had him practice his letters/numbers, in a formal way. He'd just write us notes, letters to Taro, label all his art . . . and as his brain aged, his motor skills improved. That being in school and doing rote exercises over and over does not then produce a different product or outcome. Kids simply mature at diff rates, and their abilities change as they grow. Some may have clearer printing at a younger age than another, some cannot read until the are 10. But it is never for a lack of trying, nor of ability. It is rather that we have expectations that all children are like little trained seals, and they'll all perform 'well' and up to our expectations if we just work them hard enough. I fee badly when friends of ours notice or as if our kids can read, and they both can, and their child can't. But there are other things their children can do, or are interested in. And those things matter just as much. We would never expect each of us to be the same and hold the same skills as our other same-aged adult friends.

I was chatting with Hannah his week about the numbers places, that there's the 1's, the 10's, the 100's, because we were doing some Farmer Brown things and it was 60+60 which she struggled with, because it's double-digits, a whole new terrain for her. And I had the lovely surprise that the explanation I gave to Leif about this same topic was total greek to her. Well of course, she's not Leif, why would she think exactly like him? I appreciated the reminder to give my head a shake , and maybe our LC Dave can offer up some other ways that I can explain this to her.

In the meantime she figured out how she thinks she can earn some cash.



(Please give me some money). Not a chance sister.


While the issue here is party that our camera is on it's way out (and the one we covet is mucho dineiro!), the real thing is that she's just too fast! Here she is at her last soccer class, and every single shot was this blurry.



She has expressed frustration with her soccer class, because the kids do not know how to play. So Steph (her coach) has agreed to let her join Leif's soccer club, Gordon Head, and we'll get her on a team of her peers. She's so wicked good at soccer, it's great to see her so proud of herself.

And Ivy, well she's as radical as ever. Here she is with Puppy, her pal.




And here she is in full goalie gear, after diving for a save in our basement. I love this shot!



I hope this cold weather is forcing you nearer to your fire or your housemate(s) and your pets. It's time for blankets, board games and slippers (okay, beer would fit better, I'll admit it).


Kisses

C