Books and Life.

I have been reading a boatload of great books this year, which I hope to find time to tell you about. One in particular is on my mind today. fathermothergod by Lucia Greenhouse is a memoir about being the daughter of Christian Scientists. I like reading about other people's experiences and perspectives, I feel like it gives me a better understanding of different realities. I didn't know anything about Christian Science or what it was, so I felt like I could learn about this aspect of Christianity and learn what it was like to live it.

In this haunting, beautifully written book, Lucia pulls back the curtain on the Christian Science faith and chronicles its complicated legacy for her family. At once an essentially American coming-of-age story and a glimpse into the practices of a religion few really understand, fathermothergod is an unflinching exploration of personal loss and the boundaries of family and faith. 

* * * Spoiler Alert here * * * there's no way I can share my thoughts without telling you some of what happened in the book. It's still a great read, do not let knowing parts deter you.

Here's my understanding: Christian Science is a recent variation of Christianity as interpreted by Mary Baker Eddy. She taught that we are all children of God, made in his image, and he is our true parent (hence fathermothergod). That we are perfect, like him, and therefor our bodies cannot fall ill or become imperfect unless we are doubting him and our faith is weak. And so it follows that illness can be fought through prayer, not medicine. There are no germs, or cancer, or headaches, there is only fathermothergod and your faith in him. If you do not feel well, pray. If someone questions your not getting medical help, avoid them for they are poisoning your thoughts and could hinder your healing process. In the book the author struggles with this, when she feels sick and wishes to be cared for and mothered, instead of told she needs to pray. When her mother falls ill, she questions her parents choice to stay home and pray, not seek help. Finally she checks in to a Christian Science Healing Centre, where she is surrounded by believers and her daughter is cut off, told not to call, that she is poisoning her mother's healing. There is so much that goes on, other family members of her mothers', who are not Scientists. But in the end, both her parents die of treatable illnesses.

I read this book in September, and it comes to mind often. While I want to be respectful of all beliefs, I cannot imagine watching loved ones get sick and die because of their beliefs, when all you want is to be with them, to have them recover and rejoin your life. Maybe it's selfishness, maybe not. We all die, so should you accept this and not fight about when that happens?

I don't think so. I'm a fighter.

But if my fighting caused that loved one to be upset and disconnect from me, is that really loving and kind of me, to fight them and what they believe?

So we're out for a walk today, heading to the nearby elementary school to vote in the civic election. It is a route I haven't walked in years, though before Ivy was born I walked that same route every day for 2 years. I'd pass a bunch of huge Oak Bay homes, and wonder what it was like inside. I'd pass a couple of houses that have been converted into some type of care or group home. They have that institutional look to them. I had completely forgotten that one has a sign out front stating that it is a Christian Science Healing Centre. Back then I had no idea what that meant, and left it at that. Today, when we passed that house, I had to stop and stare. I couldn't help it. I was amazed that right there in my 'hood was a building in which a group of people completely disagree with the basic facts I believe about life. Human science, medicine, microbiology, everything I've studied in my life, my interests, what I've taught my kids. They do not believe in it.

I just couldn't get over that. Even now I sit here thinking about that house a few blocks over, wondering if there's anyone inside who is sick, who has come from far away to find solace in the arms of fellow believers. I want to respect their beliefs. And I want to run in and take them away, to a hospital, to a naturopath, to someone who could help them.

I don't know what else to say. It's a good read, and a hard view on life for me to accept. Sorry, I have to be honest.

And yet, I know I hold beliefs that may not be acceptable to all. That my lifestyle could be questioned, criticised. So does that make it all okay? I want to say all our views deserve respect. But when they cause harm to self and others, is it still okay?

It's too much for my simple self. The kids want to play Twister. That I can handle.

xoxo
C